when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
