I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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