You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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