I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
