How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
