just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize