if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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