Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Boobs speak an international language.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
