Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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