Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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