His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
