is your mom at the bar?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
