YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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