Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
