My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
