In the future we'll all be gay
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
