I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
