def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
