FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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