Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
