WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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