found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
