All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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