Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
