Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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