I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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