FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
