dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
