real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
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Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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