Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
