Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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