You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
