You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
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You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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