seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
