Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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