dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
