Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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