One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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