Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
