Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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