Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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