Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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