The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
