she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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