my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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