Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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