screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I deserve this hangover.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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