soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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