This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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