Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
