Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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