That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
