I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
