If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
