I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
