i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
