You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
