Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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