I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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