those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
