i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
