I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
