we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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