Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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