I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
