the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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