so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
